Politics- an art!!!!

Friday 16 May 2008

 

Politics!! Well most of us to allege that the country is run by incompetent people. Recently I saw a debate where in people were very sure that the only way the country could develop itself into a super power is to have well educated, learned and young dynamic leaders. They said that they should have proper management training before managing the country!!!

Whoa!!!! Well do u mean to say that the politicians are not- competent? Well yes, I agree that you might not have Harvard educated guys neither do they hold degrees from Bschools…but they are anything but incompetent. The Politicians in our country are better. I might add much much better than any B school grad. Management is an art that they have mastered..well I know it might be a little tough for the B school grads to digest….i know ppl with the degrees that you have and the loads of books and theory that you study it is a little tough..but it is still the truth!!

Let me explain!! Will try and relate this to what B schooolers study.

Every party is as good as a multinational company. They have a high command which is analogous to the board of directors of the company. And like any board of directors they just discuss and take into account the various issues. No action. They are more like the policy builders. Both of them are defunct.

Like any organization the party has a

Mission: to stay in power for the maximum time. to ensure that if they are not in power then to somehow have an overbearing influence on the people in power

Vission: Have you ever read the party manifesto?? Man that is the best piece of literature you will ever come across. Vision of a company is generally long term. So if the manifesto. Take the manifesto of the party in the last elections, you will find a tremendous similarity, which shows how committed to their vision they are

Strategy: well if you thought planning and maximizing the utility of the resources that a company had at its disposal was difficult., then reconsider… think the amount of planning that one has to put into ensure that strikes are declared at the right moment!! They have limited manpower but they have to conduct so many dharnas, walk outs , demand resignation of so many govt ministers, and all this is in addition to the task of running a government in a certain region.

Finance: raising the millions to fund their ever clean and thrifty campaign that they run, they have to ensure that they donot take more than the maximum donation from a single person. They have to safely stash the millions that they have in black money. They have to manage the numerous numbered accounts that they have in the various parts of the world. They have to keep tab of where the white and black money is deposited, how the cash flow is happening. And then even declare their legitimate assets. Phew!!! You think this is easy???

Operations: internal operations are highly efficient. They efficiently manage the 24hrs to include chamchagiri, dharnas, giving speeches, staging walkouts in parliament. Have you ever seen the efficiency with which the MPs storm the well of the house. The clock work like precision with which they halt the proceedings of the house, the way they uproot the mikes and chairs and hurl them at each other. Their aim is to halt the proceedings, and tell me if they are not good…..man if someone did an operations research on this event, I am sure you will find them to be functioning at more than 99% efficiency.

Marketing: well this is another aspect at which they are aspects. They have a very deep and thorough understanding on the local market ( the electorate). They very efficiently target them by dividing them on the basis of religion (caste) & affluence.

They have a customized approach to target each segment of the market segment

They have the local goons to help undertake the market research and to implement their program. They have an efficient supply chain of lobbyists and goons to ensure that their marketing has the maximum impact and the widest reach possible. Advertising via print,electronic media is done. The performance is reflected in the results of the elections.

Human resources: they are the best HR managers in the country. They run a team of thousands sitting in one place. They ensure that their rallies attract the most people and their dharnas have the largest gathering. They also have efficient decentralization. They local goons are empowered to take independent decision to ensure the success of their programmes and they control their own small team of delegates. They generally have self managed groups. Their compensation is completely performance driven. If they win in the region then the team is paid extra. The internal distribution of the award is left to the team, with the leader also being awarded regular promotions to move from the lowest level of a goon to higher in the chain of power. They also have to ensure that their MPs are well looked after so that they donot defect and also give them attractive perks to lure the MPs from other parties. Phew!!! Name the function they do it.

I could go on and on drawing parallels about this.. so next time you say that you want competent managers running the country…of some guys with fancy degrees,think again..these guys are better ..way better J

22 comments:

Tushar Mangl said...

Good point
!!!

Eternal Dreamer said...

heys!
what a hilarious post! uv presented the truth in a bowl of sarcasm with a tsp of rib tickling humour. bloggers who call a spade a spade rock...keep it up!

ciao!
(P.S. im pretty sarcastic too, tho not as good.if the politicians spare u, u cud visit my blog sumtime.)

farustar said...

good piece of satire :D

Vivek Menon said...

Thats a cool post bro...loved the irony....We end up wishing IF ONLY...

Keshi said...

Cleverly done.

Keshi.

Occasional Brilliance said...

great argument!!!

Stacey said...

Hi nefariousoutlook,
Really good post, I thoroughly enjoyed it, you make a very good point ;-D

Unknown said...

without ethical objectivity, politics is loot.

Anonymous said...

hey...

u've made sme pretty good use of sarcasm....n i mus say...u've drawn a neat parallelism!

grt wrk!

~Sanz
on it...

http://sanz360.wordpress.com

rantravereflect/ jane said...

buhahahahaaha P)
tat was good sarcasm!

do you know where l,prasad gets money to run our trains?

he jus says, 'chooku chookuu chooku chooku', gets a.r. rahman to compose some good music, put mallaika n shah rukh on the train, n well, there it runs.. so simple!

n he charges us 'heavy-ticket' to watch the bollywood movie atop n inside the trian: n makes all the money that way.. :)

wah wah wah,,

ARZ KIYA HAI said...

yes.politics is an art indeed. politicians are trick-artists

goodpost

Tina said...

lol lol lol...hilarious man..lovely piece of work...well potrayed...

sarcasms in all the rite palces

Well done indeed

Cheers
Tee

Nefariousoutlook said...

@tshhar,jan,fraustar,vivek,keshi,bubbles,stacey,sanz

thank you guys!! and thanks for dropping by

@unpretentious

true very true...but ethical objectivity is very hard to achieve

@rantravereflect

lol lol ..never thought of that

@arz kiya hai , tina

thank you thank you

Keshi said...

and ya know, 'polly' doesnt 'tick' me

;-)

Keshi.

Macadamia The Nut said...

*zonkkked!!*
:D I loved the way you've put forward your view. Nothing short of brilliant. But having said that, I also wonder if competency is the core problem we face today. Somehow, i don't think so...

Nefariousoutlook said...

@keshi
lol...many would subscribe to that view!!!!

@macadamia
well competency is not the only problem..there are some who are not competent but there are also a few who are nothing short of brilliant!! but these people do work with a lot of constraints..many of which are created by the incompetent others..

Umme Salma Kandoriwala said...

A good thought...:)

Gonecase aka. Shutter Singh said...

I hate politics and I hate politicians :|

Nefariousoutlook said...

@umme
thank you

@gonecase
well the people who were part of the debate which kind of got this thought in my mind also didnt like them..but yeah you might hate them but we cant live in this country without them :)

Gunjan Aylawadi said...

seems like uve been puttin a lotta thought into all this...pretty neat!

gypsy said...

its always wrth it when srved hot with a lil spice...


brilliantly put up...

Sunny Daffodil. said...

Competent or incompetent,it`s we who have elected those in power.Honestly,a polished B-school fella or our very own Lallu,they are all the same..After all it boils down to ethics and morals and politics and these two together would be like an oxymoron in a sentence..!:D